Emo boys

2012-02-15T08:56:00.003+08:00

我有一个单恋。其实我一直犹豫着我到底忘记你了吗？不过过去也过去了。我无法向你表达我所有的想念。只知道你有了喜欢的人却又不敢向你诉说我其实还爱着你。在别人面前我会一直否认。但是当我一个人的时候我无法控制我对你的想念。原来爱不是久了就会忘记，对我来说爱久了，我会更加牵挂。

无所谓，反正你也不会在看到我在这里所说的话。你也不会生气为什么我心里的某一处还在牵挂着你，想我们的往事，我们的梦想。我对你所付出过的东西也只会有多一个人知道。

好希望能把我想说的话说给你听，但是我又不敢，而且你一定还会在生气那时所发生的事吧？我永远不会怪你，不管这么样，最少我们以前有过一点点的往事。

如果他能让你开心，我就祝福你们幸福快乐。就算他也是我的好朋友，我还是会替你们感到开心的。

2011-02-13T15:24:00.000+08:00

难道我为你做的一切，一点都不如他吗？难道我所为你做的一切还远远不够吗? hais

2011-02-11T21:32:00.001+08:00

Now i have no one i need to confide to. No one to accuse me. No one to talk with. No one to be with. Are you pleased with yourself ?

2011-02-11T20:24:00.002+08:00

I enjoy to be accused by people. I enjoy to create a bad name for myself. That's me yong quan :D

2011-02-10T20:42:00.001+08:00

What the point of helping 1 person and in the end he say you all those. I've enough. Trying to help you to score well and this is what you give me. Nevermind, i had used to it. i shall not own you anything. by next week, i am returning everything i own you to you. after that, we don own each other anything. If you want 4 years like this gone, well i can do it too.

I am not scare of you. I am giving you face now. don push me to the limit. this is the very first time, and if you want play, come get it then.

2011-02-07T12:02:00.002+08:00

Such a long time without posting. My blog doesn't seems like last time anymore. no more visitors i guess.

I find myself very useless in life. Life is like 3 years ago. Every time i remember the past, i just find myself in tears. I know you will not see this. But I don't know how to forget you. Is this jealousy again ?

With/without talking to you, there is no difference. I just couldn't change my feelings towards you. Yeah, you might not be my first love. But you are someone I love the most now. I know I cannot change your feelings towards me. But I do not have any way now. I am just useless.

I find some of my friends not really worthy of my trust. What the use of being loyal to a clique, and then get dao-ed and sometimes only come and find you when they need. What the use of being with friends that only know how to find you when you are useful. What the use. I just hope that not anyone of you is capable of making me flared up totally. I'm scare of become real violence towards you all. But...

Family problem arising. And I just couldn't do anything. Can anyone tell me how to end all this sufferings. Hais.

2010-11-26T19:12:00.001+08:00

Kill me will you? Just 1 strike by the lightning and I will be gone, creased to exist.

2010-11-15T21:47:00.002+08:00

It seems that everytime I say I want to try and forget you, and will try not to see you, I still seems to hope that I got the chance to see you.

2010-11-04T23:24:00.001+08:00

Felt like drinking until I don't know what the world is happening around me...

2010-10-30T16:51:00.002+08:00

This blog has been empty for about 3 months plus. I never post because of my laziness. Life have been dull since holiday. Nothing to do. What I enjoyed most, is drinking, play basketball and chatting with my brothers. Before school start, I always think of school to start faster so that my life won't be so dull. But now, school had reopened, and it seems to be more dull than I had expected. However, at least I had some accomplishment. I finally deleted all my games, and started to do all my homework. I had finished all my homework even before weekends arrived. I think my friends should be happy that I learnt my lesson last semester ba.

This subject we learning this semester require us to buy more of our textbooks. I believe that it should be quite interesting ba the subjects. I shall try to change my laziness into hardworking, so that I can excel more in my studies. And, my family wanted me to go into university. I will try hard to do so then.

Nothing seems much interesting to me this few days except studying and meeting up with friends in school. I hope as this semester continue I will be able to enjoy more and also make more new friends.

2010-07-07T21:33:00.002+08:00

Hey blog, long time no come le. I have lots to say. But I cannot and don't know how to say. just that a feeling of pain was again starting in my heart. I walked this route before. But why am I feeling much pain than before. I chose to Escape from reality. I want to escape. This feeling just suck. i don't know how should I live my life now. I just cannot accept. I don't blame anyone. I think it is me. I regretted being me. Now not accepted anywhere. FUCK MY LIFE LA. NA BEI CHEE BYE. HAis

2010-06-04T23:20:00.001+08:00

SYLVESTER 沈祥龙所以 LYRICS

想到了第一次见到你
你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你

想到了第二次见到你
感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离

这是爱情还是你太美丽
让我作出不可思议的事情
我只知道我要看你开心
我什么都愿意只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你开心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛

想到了第一次见到你
你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你
想到了第二次见到你
感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离

这是爱情还是你太美丽
我像是着了迷只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你开心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你高兴

我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛
Hey Hey

2010-05-26T21:38:00.002+08:00

Well, kind of feeling better with the answer. But, I think I won't be okay soon only after some times. Please give me some time. If I have just a little chance, I will wait for this 3 year. But nevermind since now I know that I don't have much chance. I will be well one day. I just wish to cry out one day and scream out. Don't feel bad. I promised you that I will be fine one day. And I will. I'm a man of my words, and I will do what I promised, since I hate people who break promises. I will be strong and will be happy whenever you are happy. Please stay happy girl. It's not your fault. It's my choice. I knew that it was impossible, but I prefer knowing the truth. Sorry for making you sad too.

2010-05-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

Please don't hate me for what I done. I know I suck I know... I'm ready to die... Not loving you is harder than you know, thus I decided that i will have to escape the fate. Escape from reality. Escape from myself. Dear god why did you want me to live, Can you help me understand. I suck so much. I sucks. It's impossible. Look at me, and you see a stupid man, who sucks. Will this nightmare be over soon? I don't know why, but I felt that I am falling too much into the trap, so in order not to hurt anyone, I decide to leave again. Accept my apology as I lose myself in anguish to get over you. This nightmare is killing me and is hurting me because of my little confidence in love now. HAIS.

2010-05-10T22:13:00.001+08:00

The murderer by alesana
It is about time?
Oh yes it is, it really is!
Let's get this party started!
My hands are shaking...
Just take a drink, steady your nerves.
Let's get this party started!

Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to die?
Cause lately it seems I'm going insane!

Please don't get up!
Oh no, you're fine right there!
Just don't mind me as I take you all in!
So drink 'em up, oh yes just slam 'em down!
Have one on me as I lock you all in!
My sweet little sheep your wolf has come...

You should know I'm dangerous.
My thirst for blood turns me on...
How sweet...

Is this what we pictured the night that we said, "you're the one"?
I'm going crazy without you.
It's hard to believe but I'm having fun.

Annabel, look what you've started!

The knife slides down to the tip of my tongue.
I'm finding pleasure in watching you writhe.
I lean in just to lick the sweat off your face.
I taste the reverence dripping down my throat.

You should know I'm dangerous.
My thirst for blood turns me on...
How sweet...

Is this what we pictured the night that we said, "you're the one"?
I'm going crazy without you.
It's hard to believe but I'm having fun.

Annabel, look what you've started!

Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to run?
I've been waiting patiently for this...
Are you ready to die?
There is definitely something wrong!
Will they scream?
Will they cry?
Will they beg as they die or have to accept that this is the end?

Are you ready to die? Are you ready to die? Are you ready to die?
Are you ready to die?!
I'm so glad that all of you came!
Looking in I see a lonely man etching tallies into the bar.
Looking on I see a desperate man repeating something on the floor.
Oh how blood turns me on...
So sweet...

Is this what we pictured the night that we said, "you're the one"?
I'm going crazy without you.
It's hard to believe but I'm having fun.

Annabel, look what you've started!

2010-04-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

Have you guys ever wondered that you loved something very much but you just cannot join it just because of oyu being short? Have you ever wonder the feeling? Do you know my feeling when i saw all tall players being chosen into basketball while all short people are left behind? I just want to say fuck basketball. Fuck the people that look down on shorter guys. And bloody hell fuck my fucking height

2010-04-21T00:24:00.002+08:00

Poly had started. It was like sibei sian de lor. So early go school, so late go home. Then lecture sometimes cannot even see. I don't know that if I don't have fate to be a businessman or that I have poor eyesight. I just know that this 2 fucking factors are making me difficult to study in lectures. Hais. Only can ask for friends explain liao lor.

2010-04-15T04:49:00.001+08:00

The Lover By Alesana

Is it her, could it be,
should my eyes believe
what they see

If you are who I think you are
I might lose my mind

Just a kiss, from her lips
and I would simply float away.
The way her hips
swing back and forth
I've got butterflies

Dead girls don't just appear
out of thin air
But I am victim
to her sinister stare.

Please don't hate me for
what I've done
Run away with me,
I'll be everything that you need
Such a pretty girl screams to me,
Take my hand, take my breath away
What if my heart breaks again?
take my breath away

Just the scent of her skin
Unlocks forbidden memories
The slightest graze of fragile hand
I've got butterflies

Dead girls don't just appear
out of thin air
But I am victim
to her sinister stare.

Please don't hate me for
what I've done
Run away with me,
I'll be everything that you need
Such a pretty girl screams to me,
Take my hand, take my breath away

I'll be your anchor, I'll be your lover
I'll be your anchor, I'll be your lover
And if your heart is filled with doubt
I'll bear my soul to you belle!

Please don't hate me for
what I've done
Run away with me,
I'll be everything that you need
Such a pretty girl screams to me,
Take my hand, take my breath away

I can't lose you again...
I can't lose you again...
I can't lose you again...
I'm nothing without you.
I'll never let you down
I'll never let you down
I'll never let you down
Angel

2010-04-13T04:09:00.003+08:00

I finally got my laptop. It was like so attracting to me. I hope I can put it in good use dor my studies in future. Hope every of my good good friends good luck in future.

Anyway I was glad that you are the only one that say I had changed.

Thanks=)

2010-03-31T04:19:00.002+08:00

It's been long since I last blogged. Simply played almost every day after I quitted my work.

Poly is going to be my next destination. Sian sia, I am all alone in the induction camp.

Lols, and started to play back DOTA. But noob.

Needed more training.

On the other hand, since I do not have a job now.

I better buck up my physical fitness, to regain back my original fitness, because months of eating and not excercising, has really make me become heavier, and weaker than before.

But luckily didn't grow fat :p just have broader shoulder I guess.

I guess that's all for tonight, since I do not have much to say. =) farewell everyone. Will blog if I got thing to say.

2010-03-09T02:48:00.002+08:00

It has been long since I last blogged. Busy shall I say. Maybe working until 15 march and I shall stop. Maybe. And I am here blogging because I need to check up things. And I just want to say tomorrow I will experience more loneniness ever since I myself devoted myself to a more lonely life. Most of my friends had quitted the job. Me, myself is going to quit soon enough. OK ba. After putting my mind all inside working. I really finally forget someone. But I do not know that the feeling will come back again when I saw her again. Let's hope for the better.

GOnna train everyday after 15mar if I quit job. NO matter GYM/Swimming/basketball. I want to be stronger and stronger. SO many days never play basketball sure make my basketball plays more lousy. I gonna train. I am not gonna let anyone look down on me from today onwards.

2010-02-20T22:10:00.002+08:00

It's just me- Escape the fate

I'm creeping my way out so you can see me
I'm crawling my way around a thousand cities
You all stop and stare
I don't need your pity
I'm living my life in this hell.
Now I'm crawling away 'cause the stress has killed me
I feel like I fell from a ten story building
You best run and hide before the devil starts forbidding
I'm living my life in this hell

I'm not one for the crowd to see
It's just me
It's just-

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me,
Just a little more, come on and terrify me,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it
Take my life and then I'll feel okay

Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on the pole,
I won't sing anymore,
I'm losing control.
Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on a pole,
Take the air from my lungs,
Take the heart from my soul.

I'm not one for the crowd to see,
It's just me,
It's just

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me.
Just a little more come on and terrify me.
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay,

Okay, I'll feel okay.
Okay!

Cut it out of my mouth,
Put my tongue on a pole,
I won't sing anymore,
I'm losing control.

Cut my tears of the sound,
The erosion of my soul,
I won't sing any more,

I'm creeping my way out so you can see me
I'm crawling my way around a thousand cities
You all stop and stare
I don't need your pity
I'm living my life in this hell.

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me,
Just a little more come on and terrify me,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay,

Just a little more, come on and satisfy me.
Just a little more come on and terrify,
Just a little more and I'll be done with it,
Take my life and then I'll feel,
Take my life and then I'll feel,
Take my life and then I'll feel okay!

Escape from everything. Escaping from fate. Escaping from her. Escaping from myself. Escaping........... It's just me !!!

2010-02-15T22:51:00.001+08:00

Yee Zheng, this is the song we sang together.

It's not over by secondhand serenade

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you done all you can do.

But now it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I'm
Shaking from the pain that's in my head. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life I led. But I won't let it die. But I won't let it die.

But it's over, it's over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it's over,
It's over. It can't be over. I wish that I could take it back.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart. Don't say this wont last forever. You're breaking
My heart, you're breaking my heart. Don't tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It's not over. It's not over, it's never over, unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over, unless you let it break you. It's not over.

2010-02-15T22:26:00.002+08:00

Watched 2 blog post saying about friends. I can only say I was touched, because after so long I thought that I had disappear from everyone mind, I saw that they still treated me as a friend.

My plans last year had backfired on me. I been trying of pulling the 2 clique together and so forming a more united class. But in the end, I was so called PULL to the another clique because of the same things we had done, our interests, and our habits, Especially a 7-year friendship. I was like desserted another clique. I felt so sorry.

Although I was more 'near' to them, I still never forget you guys. Just have lesser chats. I will still remembered the times that I and kar wong chating from 6pm to 1am using studying as excuses. After that we still do not want to go home, but still have to due to many things. I still remembered yee zheng doing many silly things together, such as turning the go-round and round thing, and giving me 2 dollars for completing 30 rounds. We had many happy times. However, we also have bad times. I remembered them trying to scold me to my senses when I cannot control myself from my emotional state because of her. I remembered them trying to pull me back when I try to engage into fights. Everytime I was angry, They will try to pull me back.

Remember once, I was angry at Mr ong for something. Kar wong know it, He try to stop my anger and tell mr ong to stop it. I remember I have the biggest conflict with Mr ong, When Yee zheng held me tightly like a brother. I remember many times that held on to me to prevent me from getting into troubles. I remember them trying to soothe the anger in my heart. I remember them trying to soothe the pain that I was trying to endure. I remember them as best friend of mine.

I remembered them. But 1 thing I also remembered, is that I did not do many things for them. I only try to share their pain sometimes. Whatsmore, I did something that both of them don't like. I'm sorry to be such a bad friend.

Although I treated many people as friends or good friends or even best friends, I do not really know how you all felt towards me. Sometimes I felt extra. Sometimes you all treated me as brothers. But most of the time now I go out with you all, I was just like an extra. I cannot really feel that we are friends at all. And within these timmes I had tried all my best to accustom to these lonely feelings. All these boredom feelings. Maybe is because I don't know how to talk. I can give all my best shot to friends, but can they? And did I?

I always remembered those precious feelings that lingered in my mind.

2010-02-08T23:43:00.003+08:00

如果世上没有他，我们最后到底会有什么结局？
如果世上没有你，我的结局到底会是怎么过的？
当初我们所说的一切不是在骗我吧为什么我会爱你爱到怎么辛苦？
我爱你爱得很辛苦。爱得好孤独
告诉我，告诉我。我们以前的一切一切都不是假的。
告诉我，你有没有一次，像爱他们这样爱过我。

让我过得好一点。告诉我吧。不要让我埋没在一个黑暗的世界里。

我看我现在多说什么也没用了。只能慢慢地等待。
希望你别因此而避开我好吗，

2010-02-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

Drunk like crazy, I saw image of you flashing through my mind........
Waited at the ten floor of buang kok, imagining that it was your block, and imagining it is on the 7th storey.
Stains of tears like water remained beside the drain, like memories of you remaining like a pile of secrects in my mind.
And I silently screamed in my heart for you.
And the stupiest thing is that I know you wouldn't want to care,
And I still tried
And I may destroy your happiness.

I may laugh, I may smile, who knows that what have been hiding behind my laughter and smile. I may play, I may jump, but who knows the real motive why I try to make myself busy. I may cry, I may be sad, But who knows who will be the one that really care. I may be drunk, I may be crazy, But who knows that who I am really thinking very much in my heart that I smash glass bottle, I kicked the dustbin, And I silently screamed in my heart.

Yes, It is just my stupidity, My foolishness.

But, It was me, It was me to held me till today, till the day that I sweared that without anyone I can still live. To that day that I really only cared for myself.

But it was me that held myself up to think of some ways to numb myself of every pain that has been acheing in my heart for so long.

But it was me, to hate people who don't even respect me for who I am.

But it was me, to hate people who tell me somethings and doing other things.

But it was me to hate people who I helped a lot and in the end, He doesn't even care about me at all. And IT was me to hate people who always said that He was very good to me but only really been good to me once.

But it was me to occupy all the memories, to reminsce all the memories. But it was me who fell down on the 10th storey to hide from all the memories haunting.

But it was me...........

I am me.........

Remember this I am myself.

It was me who missed and loved you for so long, and it was me who used almost every means to forget you, and It was me who stupidly still did not succeed. Sorry. Sorry for disturbing you yesterday. Sorry for saying all those to you. Sorry for not forgeting you. Sorry for who I am . Sorry.

2010-01-31T02:23:00.002+08:00

Fucking pissed at the cheeby botak head supervisor.

2010-01-31T02:21:00.002+08:00

Who are you? Last time you always showed me my mistakes and want me to change. You also always called me to forget forget forget. And now you are the one that is redoing what I am doing...

2010-01-24T22:40:00.003+08:00

My life is a shit, I am fucking hell sian, and cannot find a way out.

My family know that I have taken up sweet le.

I want earn more money.

But working suckss because I cannot play

I shall learn to accuustom with the life.

Shouldn't I ?

2010-01-22T13:02:00.005+08:00

Love carved into my heart back some time,
and it formed a powerful force with my heart
and their duties is to conquer any obstacle
that occurred in Love,
regardless of any difficulties and hurt.
This force also caused to be what I am
today.
Guy with empty mindset.
And it divided my heart into 4 sections,
labelling from love, money, family and friends.

Love also caused hidden unhappiness between people
They could hide their feelings.
But who know they might cry when they are alone
cry when they drank alcoholic drink
or even do some bad things just to soothe the
pain that has been caused.

So Love? or not?
Already forgotten or just trying to hide the painful feelings?
Continuing or just let it go?

What is my route?

Everything was a maze to me. And I felt loneliness.

Finally told 2 of my buddies the truth and felt more comfortable.
Because I do not want to hide all my bad stuff from them again,
if I continue hiding from them,
then I will not worth to even be a friend to anyone.

Lastly, I will try my best to help you, my family, my buddies and friends.
Conflict with friend is just so fuck-up.
I wish that What I did at chalet was worthy.
I wish what I heard is real.
I wish that I can be drown into drunken state for once to make myself forget everything.

2010-01-07T17:46:00.001+08:00

I'm starting work tomorrow. 7pm to 7am work. hope it will succeed. And I can earn some money.

2010-01-07T17:42:00.004+08:00

I saw it and you think that you really understand me. zzz.

2010-01-06T23:49:00.004+08:00

Hi, was like travelling like hell today. Slept yesterday at 3am. Woke at 5.45am . Went buangkok and michelle father send us together with harry to Chai chee for job briefing. After that went back tampines square to CPF building. Then went pasir ris park. Later, Return to sengkang. Go back to tampines. Take bus to change north and reached at 7 plus pm. Interview. In the end, Tomorrow maybe need to go back there again... zzz. HOpe get the job. Then I got money.

I think I gave up. I should occupied myself with jobs and forget these boring and ever-changing earth from now on.

Bored. My daily routine from today onwards will just be working working working. I wanted to tire myself out so I won't think about how all those happy events turned into 1 of my pain and sadness.

I don't think I want to live my life worrying about this and that. I sense the unfriendliness and I will slowly live my life alone and not on this headaches. I will treat them as illusion. Bye.

2010-01-03T00:48:00.003+08:00

This few days have been such a boring and tiring day with me. Have a temporary job at uniqlo at orchard ion. And the progress is so tired and tedious. NO job now again. Yesterday last day. So, WEnt to play basketball with brother at Nan Chiau high surrounding basketball court today. HAve some fun. Went to my grandmother house to makan and play game. Reach home at 12+ . Now blogging to no one I guess. LOls.

2009-12-24T02:05:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone. The last time I post was like so long ago. And seems like no one came to my blog anymore. Hahas. Maybe is because I blogged less frequent as before or I have a very boring post. HAHAS

Okay, Here's the good news. Went to tampines square CPF building to seek for an agent. And I have an Interview at Changi North next week. A packer job. $6 per hour. From 7am to 3pm. After that, I can have OT from 3pm to 7pm which is $9 per hour. Hope I get this job. Even though it is very faraway. Hahas. Better than nothing to do at home bah. Hahas. OKay. I just came back from playing basketball. Going to play game soon. Hahas. Lastly, Hope the group that is going to sentosa tomorrow enjoy themselves. BYE everyone.

2009-12-17T05:02:00.001+08:00

Boring. Doing the same thing every day. Did not went to the interview. Because too many people around there. Maybe finding job with my brother next time . Boring life every slacking . I need money for poly. I think I am going to sleep soon before my father wake up and nag me . HAHA. Goodnight friends.

2009-12-12T17:13:00.001+08:00

Wow, It has been few days since I last posted. Nothing to do recently. Everyday same routine. Wake up at 5 pm. Makan, cook for coffee, bring it down. Come up, play game till 5am in the morning. Nagged by mum and dad to find job. But I am already trying to find but don't know find what job. LOLS. OKay. Next time then post. Lols .

2009-12-09T00:51:00.003+08:00

Well just as those other bloggers as said, we went to macrina house for dinner. Ate, watch ghost videos, and drank alcohols. Okay la, this time never even unstable dao. LOls. But I did realise something. Maybe I was wrong about friends on those few days. But I first need to get back my trust and change my temper as It has been boiling this few days. Gonna change.

Nearly quarrelled with mother, brother and father. Cannot even go out to enjoy 1 night... zzz.

2009-12-05T02:23:00.000+08:00

5566 - 心如刀割

两个人站在门口
女的说别再回头
握着拳男的说请你别走
就这样故事正要走到尽头
谁的心飘在空中
你再也不想多说
擦去泪我没有一点保留
天知道可否能有任何请求
即使我的心如刀割
你已不再爱我
任凭我这么痛
你却无动于衷
我就快要发疯
我的爱已失控 Oh no
无可救药的我只能忍着痛
你已经不再爱我
连话都不想多说
看着你我比谁都还难过
希望他可以给你更多更多
即使我的心如刀割
你已不再爱我
任凭我这么痛
你却无动于衷
我就快要发疯
我的爱已失控 Oh no
无可救药的我只能忍着痛
编辑:x⊙゛*yμE ^
王仁甫&孙协志 - 心如刀割
即使我的心如刀割
你已不再爱我
任凭我这么痛
你却无动于衷
我就快要发疯
我的爱已失控 Oh no
束手无策的我只能低下头
悔不当初的我不愿意放手

2009-12-05T02:01:00.002+08:00

存在 by 5566

你说着我听着像海浪打着沙滩烧着
你的忧伤大于快乐连彩虹都只剩下一种颜色
我听着你说着像刀子划的隐隐痛着
就因为爱没有规则所以心痛了死了回不去了
但是我存在着我一直存在着
和你一起的照片仍在我的手机上贴着
爱会永远永远你说的
离开我的时候却没舍不得
我真的存在着我一直存在着
不管是疯的气的我受着我紧紧手握着
傻傻的陪着守着证明你值得
但我会笑着因为一切都值得
你说着我听着像海浪打着沙滩烧着
你的忧伤大于快乐连彩虹都只剩下一种颜色
我听着你说着像刀子划的隐隐痛着
就因为爱没有规则所以心痛了死了回不去了
但是我存在着我一直存在着
和你一起的照片仍在我的手机上贴着
爱会永远永远你说的
离开我的时候却没舍不得
我真的存在着我一直存在着
不管是疯的气的我受着我紧紧手握着
傻傻的陪着守着证明你值得
但我会笑着因为一切都值得
我真的存在着我一直存在着
和你一起的照片仍在我的手机上贴着
爱会永远永远你说的
离开我的时候却没舍不得
我真的存在着我一直存在着
不管是疯的气的我受着我紧紧手握着
傻傻的陪着守着证明你值得
但我会笑着因为一切都值得

原点 by 5566

心像飘落的枯叶踩在地上都会碎
我说我爱着你但你却又假装你没听见
我像个隐形人逗你开心逗你笑
但你总是看不见
难道要很多考验还要很多抱歉
才能够证明我会爱你到永远
寻寻觅觅我们还是又回到了原点
心像飘落的枯叶要怎么熬过这冬天
好想抱你直到明天怎么这双手又退却
我像个胆小鬼只敢想像只敢暗恋
就是不敢放手追
难道要很多考验还要很多抱歉
才能够证明我会爱你到永远
寻寻觅觅我们还是又回到了原点
我已经无法承受没有结果的结果
在爱的洪流我只能继续去漂流
有太多太多考验还有太多抱歉
放不下我在想着你你想着谁
寻寻觅觅我们终于又回到了原点
难道要很多考验还要很多抱歉
才能够证明我会爱你到永远
寻寻觅觅我们还是又回到了原点
我没有方向也没有了知觉
我忘了方向也忘了所有感觉

2009-12-05T01:43:00.001+08:00

what goes around by justin timberlake

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your han
I just can't seem to understand
So why your love went away
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Can you tell me is this fair?
Just so confused about it
Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
What goes around comes around
You should know that
Don't want to think about it (no)
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Music
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl

2009-12-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

Who want to go for gyming & swimming & Basketball session on Sunday ?

2009-12-04T23:23:00.003+08:00

Agent never called today again. So, basically I just slack all the way after I woke up at 5.30pm. This few days always wake up late and sleep late. I need to have a job quick to adjust my lifestyle.

Maybe gonna play basketball tomorrow if agent never call again

2009-12-04T00:58:00.000+08:00

Like A Knife by secondhand serenade

I dream a lot, I know you say
I've got to get away.
"The world is not yours for the taking"
Is all you ever say.
I know I'm not the best for you,
But promise that you'll stay.
Cause if I watch you go,
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.
These streets are filled with memories
Both perfect and in pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I'm the only one to blame.

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding.
But these scars will stay forever,
These scars will stay forever
And these words they have no meaning
If we cannot find the feeling
That we held on to together
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,
Or watch me bleed,
I need you just to breathe.

Cause today, you walked out of my life
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
(I need you just to breathe.)
I'm not living this life

Hero- Mariah carey

There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow But don't let anyone Tear them away Hold on There will be tomorrow In time You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

2009-12-04T00:26:00.002+08:00

Today, Agent never called again. Maybe tomorrow? Went to play basketball just now, to put off all the stress that had accumulated throughout the days.

2009-12-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

Chenjun
Ya, I had lost my trust.
But first, I have lost my trust in myself.
You know, even I cannot go out,
Hearing you guys calling me go out also
can cheer me up a little.
I did not call you all,
because I felt that you guys can be
happy with yourself. Why must I go out
and spoil your day. Plus, I really don't
like to like call people to ask where
you all are. Because It seems that I am
very thick-skinned. I don't like. Ya,
whatsmore, I hate shu hao, I cannot learn
his pattern. This is not about outcasting,
Just the trust was gone. And you know that
I have a very strong self-esteem.
I always thought that if we are friends,
we will contact each other often to update each
other. Is my thinking really wrong?
Ya, I will emo because of her in the past.
But I had mention, I am gradually forgetting her
now. I think that The feelings is not fully
pressurising me anymore since when I drank to nearly
drunk at YUFEI house. I don't want to have
One-sided love anymore. And the trust I have given
and contributed, makes me lost myself. Ya, I lost trust
but more in myself, who called I am so useless in
many things huh. But if you think I never hear your
advice, then you are wrong. You know how hard I take to
this day, to forget her. Now I finally done it. It's not I who
do not want to hear your advice, but I really cannot solve the problem
even with your advice. I really cannot feel the Care that we used to have, the commotion and communication we once had. But now, I felt that everything is gone. Ya, my temper is not good. But I had tried to change it for very long. Didn't I? I thought you should know because you are 1 of the guys that helped me this few years. If not, I think I may have been expelled or caned again in this school. And, I am already grabbing hold of the fact that I can never been together with her again. My heart is dead, so is my mind. I don't know what to do now. Really. HAIS.

Kar Wong
Although we are not closed together anymore,
But I once mentioned this to you before:
I did not leave the group, but I am just trying
to pull this 2 groups together
so that Our class can be more united.
But, maybe it's my fault for not
making my intentions known. If I is not doing that,
I will not even ask you what is wrong when I felt
that you are moody. ya, You know I love to have lots of people gathering to share the
fun. But I can't seems to do all this Because of me. I don't know is it me or what. But what I really know that It was pain too putting all this down,
putting everything we once love and like and created
down, Like destroying the things we have sacrificed to fulfil
, but What can I do ? Yup, I will forget her completely sooner or later,
since I have forgot halfway. Maybe let me get back my trust in myself first.
And, I will try to be happy whenever I can.

2009-12-03T03:58:00.002+08:00

Congratulations, I Hate You – Alesana

no one ever said that life was fair and I’m not saying that it should be
so knowing that you are where you want to be and I’m not comes as no surprise
but don’t expect me to be happy for you
and don’t smile at me and tell me things will work out for me too
I don’t want your pity…I hate your pity

taste your vanity and its sweet bitterness
as you hide behind your veil of my stolen hopes and lost dreams
…you took them all…
I watched you steal my thoughts and had to see you smile

as you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I’ll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

swallow your pride

beg me to make this easier and listen to my hopeless cries

suffer alone in emptiness
I lust to see you swallowed by the mess that you left in your wake
disgust lies deep within your empty gaze…

beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
send stares into your meaningless eyes

my envy can’t describe how I loathe you for having all the stars
leaving my eyes to marvel the sky knowing it should be mine
yet it’s you I see wasting the dream that only I deserve
I’ll tear off your face to see your smile.

as you build your dreams on my shattered hopes
I’ll look back on a day once loved and fantasize for tragedy

swallow your pride

beg me to make this easier and listen as my hopeless cries
send stares into your meaningless eyes

Alesana-Apology

Sweat drips in my eyes (you’re everything)
Screams of lust we cry (you’re everything)
Tonight, you are everything (you’re everything)
You’re everything to me
No more as I wake
From this perfect dream
I can not stay down
Live this lie for I
Now must think only of myself
And to think that you will not be
Scared or surprised I severed
All these ties (this is the end)
This is the end

I’ll lose myself in anguish
For tonight (this is the end)
Help me get over you (I feel so numb)

I feel so numb too
See this bitter end
It has come to this
One last kiss
Broken pieces will not mend
To save our past
Save our past now
(this is the end)

I’ll lose myself in anguish for tonight
Help me get over you (this is the end)
Can one last false apology
Help me get over you

In my mind blood drips from your eyes
A beautiful last goodbye

2009-12-02T21:42:00.002+08:00

I felt that the feelings I have for her is gradually decreasing in this few days. I seems to get back some of my cheerfulness. Hope everything will be well.

And, I am no longer troubled by friends. Because, I am gonna show them that I can be alone. Last time, I planned to find work together with them. But now, I preferred working alone. Having an interview with an agent soon which my brother has introduced. Will soon gonna have my job.

Within these few days, I have so called 'opened' my mind. Whenever I have troubles they won't care. Whenever they have troubles, I tried to help.

It is so unfair. And I am not gonna to care for it any further. I want to be myself from today onwards. Because I am yongquan. Don't think of even changing my mind. My friends are myself. And I'm gonna work and be myself. Got troubles don't call me. And you could call me a coward if you want. Because I am so gonna not going to risk my brother and myself again.

2009-12-01T20:51:00.001+08:00

This post is for someone. The recent friends things is not talking about you......

2009-12-01T01:47:00.001+08:00

Given up everything? Gonna have work really soon. Maybe I too can use work to drown away all the sorrows that I have been suffering.

Another chance to be drunk on Friday night. This time, I must make myself 100% drunk.

Because everything is making me more and more disappointed now.

Not mentioning Love, that is Friends.

Gonna train myself up soon too.

2009-11-30T01:53:00.003+08:00

What are friends? Shouldn't friends be honest with each other? When he is feeling down, I went for him. But, when I was feeling down, I cannot reach him. When he feels good, he wouldn't even think of me as friend. I'm right, I'm just a tool. If he couldn't be honest with me, why must he even lied to me in the first place. Is this the friend I had once wished to be with before? If he is, I can only say this" yongquan you are blind" ....

2009-11-29T15:59:00.002+08:00

Lame things for me.

The worst feeling is giving all the love you have and knowing it will never be returned.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.

In my dreams, you're mine forever.

Just your friend, in this torrid love affair. That's what you called it. The word "affair" scares me. I love you, but I will never be able to call you mine. You're just my friend. And just we're stuck in this torrid love affair.

How am I supposed to forget you?
it's not that you're the only one i truly liked.
but you're the only one who hurt me more
than i could ever imagine.

You tell me to move on;
well i'll need a lot more than just
a goodbye. more like a hug and
a helping hand.

How can I apply remedy to these unseen wounds,
It's only this invisible pain that I feel, and yet I feel nothing...

Sometimes, don't you wish your life were a movie?
That way you could rewind your favorite parts.
You could fast foward the part where you cry.
&'nd the end is always happy.

I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a lifetime of not knowing you.

It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.

Real loss only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself.

The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone.

2009-11-29T15:46:00.002+08:00

Have a good achievement today, finally cleaned up my table. And everything is very dusty. Now blogging after a while nia.

Feeling so bored now, feeling like playing basketball now, then now still haven't find job also. Must find a job soon no matter what. Lols. Anyone free to play basketball at 7pm onwards? FInd me .

2009-11-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

罗志祥 - 我不会唱歌

这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后

是的感情不是K歌
音阶一字不漏
不见得感动

我也懂拿麦的手不能颤抖
曾握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得

我努力唱完主歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么
哭什么明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友
我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得
这首歌唱完的是我

这首为你点播的歌
如果我先哭了
怎么唱到最后

是的感情不是K歌
音阶一字不漏
不见得感动

我也懂拿麦的手不能颤抖
曾握着就能感受你比我难过
谁写的歌词那么适合放手
我怎能舍不得

我努力唱完主歌
我忘了走音没有
我到底哭什么
哭什么明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友
我忘了是谁哭了
就算你不记得
这首歌唱完的是我

王力宏 - 你不在

当世界只剩下这床头灯
你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身
无数陌生人正在等下一个绿灯
一再错身彼此脆弱的时分
不过渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯黑暗把我并吞
wo
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在 wo
无尽等待像独白的难捱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在
我受了伤害再偷偷好起来
你不在

时间再按下许多次快门
沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨
孤单一人份你低声说你有别人
我的话筒只有自己的体温
怎样认真也不一定成真
你说得对我不得不承认
wo
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在
无尽等待像独白的难捱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在 wo
受了伤害再偷偷好起来
你不在
wo 那些摇摆我都明白
都明白
但你不在爱已不在不在
你不在当我最需要爱
你却不在 wo
一个人分饰两角的恋爱 wo
你不在高兴还是悲哀
你都不在 wo
像空气般不存在的存在
再没有痕迹的爱你不在
当我需要你的爱你不在

2009-11-27T21:48:00.002+08:00

Just bathed after match at Paya lebar. The 3 on 3 competition. We won the first place not up to basketball match skills but to shooting skills. So, I'm happy, but not too proud of it. It started to rain that time, and we had to sit at the canteen. They decided to change the match to free throw match. Who scored most get to win. My group got only 3 people. Other group got 4 to 5. And using 1 ball, we won the free throw. And got in the first place. This may be the last time I going to win a cup for Punggol Secondary School. But, I'm not too proud of it, I want to fight with our own basketball skills. But bobian ler.

Okay, although I am tired now, I will not sleep first. I want to ton longer than sleep. LOLS. Am I mad? LOLS.

Okay, A stupid question for myself " Love, Friendship, Family, Money. Why does this four major problems in decreasing order, kept circulating around my life, making me feeing so miserable?"

Stupid question isn't it?

2009-11-27T09:25:00.005+08:00

I am back since the last time I blog 3 days ago. Just gonna talk about these 3 days.

24/11/09
Slept a long time, and woke up at 6. Play basketball with friends. After that, went home at 1+ . Never slept on that day. cannot sleep.

25/11/09
Went for school to take school bus to North Light school at paya lebar. Reached at 8+ . But match start at 2. During that time is C boy match. So went to toa payoh interchange to makan. Went back at 12+ . Played basketball with friend from 12 to 2+ . Started B boys match. It's a 3 on 3 game. Played 5 rounds and end at 6+. Won all. Was happy of course.

Went to Pasir ris park for class Barbeque. Ate, and played around. Then drank alcohol at park. Return at 2 +(I think) . Reach sengkang and went to punggol plaza to find other guys. Tonned until 5 in the morning. Went back home and slept at 5.30. LOLs siao hor, never sleep for 2 and 1 quarter day...

26/11/09
Woke up on 6pm. Went to do usual things for coffee before departing for yu fei birthday party. Ate a lot. Then, drank volka after that. Drank a lot. Kept asking people to dare me to finish 1 cup in 1 whole gulp. They said I was drunk. But I don't know whether is it drunk la. But, I still can remember the events. Ya, confirm got a little bit drunk. But, don't know is it fully drunk. But what I knew was that I was thinking of somebody all along. And, I guess you all listen until sian le. So not gonna say.

Went home at 5+am. Bathed and watch VCD to 7am. Went to bed. But cannot sleep. Like very tired but cannot sleep. Lied until 8+ am. Decided to wake. So now gonna blog. Wah, then yesterday till now also never sleep le. What the fuck. Somemore I feel a little headache and I am going for the 3 on 3 competition later on. So tired. Must win today. Today is the final round for all teams. Must win cup. Today, they will be dividing all teams into loser pool and winner pool. Think my team sure in winner pool ler. Because we previously win all matches ler. Everyone wish me goodluck by sms before 1.30pm? LOLS. I must win... I cannot afford to lose again. I am a failure in so many things. I must not be 1 failure in basketball.

Okay, shall stop here. Sayonara.

Oh ya, Thanks for all guys that helped me just now .

2009-11-24T05:21:00.001+08:00

Darin Zanyar
Everything But The Girl lyrics

When I saw you I knew you were the one
I want to orbit you like you're the sun
But let me know before I come undone
Am I the one for you

I'm like a puzzle with a missing piece
I got a car but didn't get the keys
And only you can set my mind at ease
So what am I to do

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true
And everything but the love I need to make it through
And everytime I look into your eyes, that's when I realize
Just how much I love you

Some say lady luck is on my side
And that my life has been an easy ride
But they don't know
how many times I cried
Cause I'm nothing without you

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true
And everything but the love I need to make it through
And everytime I look into your eyes, that's when I realize
Just how much I love you

I don't know how long I can keep it up
I need a sign to make it through
You gotta tell me now, you gotta let me know
So what am I, what am I to do...ohh baby

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true
And everything but the love I need to make it through
And everytime I look into your eyes, that's when I realize
Just how much I love you

2009-11-24T00:36:00.003+08:00

Yo! Just have a few dota matches with brother. LOLS. now coming here to blog.

Actually today also not much to say bah, lols. Morning, went for basketball training. Just as tedious as before. LOLS. Went back home after that, Watch television and sleep. Woke, cooked for coffee, and again ate maggie mee for dinner.

Yesterday, have a talk with one of my friends and realise that not only me was in this kind of problem. It was a pleasure to talk to him, and share, better than keeping it in heart. Because you will never know how hard it is for us to hide it.

Yup, I know many people will call me to forget her. And I told you I will try. If you guys got any better way to help me forget her, just speak out, because you will never know how tough it is for us to get out of the painful situation. And if you guys may find me troublesome when I go out with your guys, just tell me and I will not follow any of you guys out again. This is the sentence I told many people. I may treat people as best friend/ best best friend/ even brother, they might treat me nothing. Just like what I felt for her ...

2009-11-23T02:35:00.004+08:00

何维健 - 我舍不得

沉默的天盖住我的双眼
在悄悄的一瞬间感受到完整失恋
天空降落带走了精彩
每分每秒等待能避免这个无奈

你走了世界变小了
脑海也停留在空虚中
还留着手机留言里的
听着那句 goodbye

我舍不得你这样的走
想到转时间重演你和我
你也曾经用真心去爱
但把整个宇宙的完美带走我舍不得

玫瑰一朵孤独的日落
夕阳的光在照自己更难微笑
所有美好随着你在跑
想念你的味道沉重在我心跳

你走了世界变小了
脑海也停留在空虚中
还留着手机留言里的
听着那句 goodbye

我舍不得你这样的走
想到转时间重演你和我
你也曾经掏了心去爱
但把整个宇宙的完美带走我舍不得

we need to have one more try
我的心我的泪能不能够让你再感动
童话故事的我们浪漫电影的我们
我舍不得好舍不得

我舍不得你这样的走
想倒转时间重演你和我
你也曾经用真心去爱
但把整个宇宙的完美带走我舍不得

舍不得 - 弦子

第一次你陪我坐着
我的手心是空空的
我知道那些简讯声你努力藏着
还怕我难过

不追问到底为什么
是我最后的温柔
想笑着附和说分开是好的
但我们却怎么一起哭了

我舍不得
可是时间回不去了
爱你很值得只是该停了
没有我你要好好的

我舍不得
最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的错了就错了
不用担心我我不爱你了

不追问到底为什么
是我最后的温柔
想笑着附和说分开是好的
但我们却怎么一起哭了

我舍不得
可是时间回不去了
爱你很值得只是该停了
没有我你要好好的

我舍不得
最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的错了就错了
不用担心我我不爱你了

至少你记忆里的我是微笑的
亲爱的有你牵着我的那些日子
真的好快乐

我舍不得
可是时间回不去了
爱你很值得只是该停了
没有我你要好好的

我舍不得
最后一次抱紧你了
我们错过的错了就错了
不用担心我我走了

2009-11-23T02:14:00.006+08:00

Not much thing done by me today. Have supposedly breakfast on 2+pm. after that, Went to sleep on 3+pm. Woke up on 6+pm. Ate dinner and went to meet yee zheng ay 8.30pm for a jog. JOg to rivervale condo. Called harry down. Went to toilet, a while more harry and his sister went to their aunty home. Oh ya, Yee zheng do not have a top rank position in studies face. MUHAHAHA.

Jog to Buangkok. Talked with michelle and yee zheng. After a while, jogged back home. And reached home at 12am. Bathed and blogging now.

PS- Although I have not heard from you like years, I still think that you should be doing quite well. You should be. Because he is a good boyfriend. Heng that we did not get together, because I am not a good guy. I did everything that I know was wrong. If we get together, I guarantee, you will not be as happy as now. I know it's time to let go. But my mund is still as relunctant as ever and hard to let go. I knew that after prom night, I will miss you. And I am right. No matter how long, It will still be hard to forget you. Afterall as I had said, you are the first girl ever that make me fall in love so much. hahas.Is it a good new or bad news? I don't know. Hope you do well okay? Got any problem must tell me? Must remember still got one gold hair bendan waiting for you.

2009-11-22T05:32:00.001+08:00

第二个自己歌词杨丞琳
这是我们走在一起的第三个夏天
聊起我来还那么肤浅
总爱对人炫耀我的微笑有多么甜
却不曾看到我另一面
我喜欢冬天喜欢音乐喜欢冒险
别总以为你爱的就是全世界
我只好偷偷藏起第二个自己
没关系对你毕竟没有意义
我愿为你去学习忘记自己
继续努力活得鲜明安定
是否会再理解不再爱我的那一天
我已经换了陌生的一面
原来可以因为爱上一个人而改变
还要求自己不改那一面
我其实任性其实爱哭其实腼腆
是你以为你了解我的全世界
我只好偷偷藏起第二个自己
没关系对你毕竟没有意义
我愿为你去学习忘记自己
继续努力就活得鲜明安定
我只好偷偷藏起第二个自己
没关系对你毕竟没有意义
我愿为你去学习忘记自己
继续努力就活得鲜明安定

2009-11-22T03:07:00.001+08:00

Gotto train up muscle and also learn to fight from my brother and on my own. I want to learn how to protect me and my friends.

2009-11-22T02:24:00.002+08:00

It has been so many days. And now I am still thinking about it. I did it today. I did not sms her. I tried to leave my phone as faraway as I could from me. Maybe this is the only way for me to stop trying to sms her bah.

Actually wanted to go for a cycling session to make me feel better. Called darryl and chenghan. After that Chenjun also joined in. After a while, went to fetch dean and we cycle to meet clarance.

Went to Jalan Kayu to have Roti Prata. Was so full. Just back and bathed to use the computer. Actually wanted to go out tomorrow for gyming->swimming->basketball session. But mum not enough money ler. I should be stop wasting money bah. I want to work and I could use my own money.

I want to ask if anyone wanted to join us for gyming->swimming->basketball sessions? I wanted to go, but don't know when bah.

May not be going for the Wednesday barbecue session bah. Have teen games, and I am not sure what time will it end. Hope it will end early bah.

2009-11-21T04:01:00.000+08:00

周杰倫 - 安靜

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡著的大提琴安静的旧旧的

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵著你陪著我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就著你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学著放弃你是因为我太爱你

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡著的大提琴安静的旧旧的

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵著你陪著我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就著你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学著放弃你是因为我太爱你

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就著你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快
我会学著放弃你是因为我太爱你

2009-11-21T03:31:00.005+08:00

People said that chances are not given but earned by ourself. Should I really believe?

I have no chance

2009-11-21T03:17:00.004+08:00

Have normal sms with you today. May not have the chance to talk/see you again. I wanted to hold the conversation for long enough. And another taiji come again. Why? Why everytime when I wanted some peaceful time with a girl I like there will be a problem. I hate the god that decide my destiny. I hate them. Just last chance. Just 1 last. Fuck!

Tomorrow you are going for your job. I was worry at the beginning not because I thought you are just 16-years old, But because I know that the world is dangerous. But, I stop worry when I knew that your sister are going with you. And he will be there too I guess. He will protect you no matter what bah.

I think I must stop smsing you ler ba. But, It will be difficult. Hais.

He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me. He will be better than me.

I will be thinking this from today. I think I should not be worrying about you from the last moment now. I will miss you.

And this is for myself: STOP BEING SO SELFISH. LET HER GO, IF SHE IS WITH YOU, I DOUBT SHE WILL BE HAPPY!

2009-11-21T03:12:00.001+08:00

Msybe by secondhand serenade

Didn't you want to hear
The sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
The expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold, hard road when you wake up
And I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me
Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye and your calm, hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
And I'm here to sing
About the things that mattered
About the things that made us feel alive for oh, so long
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me
Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye and your calm, hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday
I promise I'll be gone
And someday
I might even sing this song to you
I might even sing this song to you, to you, to you
And I was crying alone tonight
And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So just come back
I'll make it better than it ever was
I'll make it better than it ever was

Maybe it's just me
Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye and your calm, hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it's just me
Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye and your calm, hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

2009-11-21T03:05:00.004+08:00

Seduction by alesana

Sunlight warms my face only in dreams of you
I know you'll wait for me...it's been too long
Beautiful eyes. beautiful lies to dull the pain
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies...you're killing me

I would wait for years just to feel you again
I will die without you...would you my love?
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies pour from your mouth as
You scream his name...you're killing me

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
...One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up and realize your mistake

Ice runs through my veins as I stand face to face with
The one who stole it all
Compassion is not an option

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
...One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up
Realize your mistake!

In love we're one, inseparable, pathetic lust, thus we crumble
I saw your eyes, I wiped your tears, I waited for you...

Who do you see with your eyes shut tight?
Regret will be your bride
Goodbye...

Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake and realize your mistake
Cries escape your sweet voice as I paint my own goodbye

2009-11-20T04:27:00.002+08:00

Still here rotting, nothing to do. Going with teen games 3on3 on next week wednesday and friday I guess.

我曾经听过一句话“虽然记忆会消失，亲情与感情还是不会不见的。” 如果有一天我疯了，我希望我还会记得大家与其是你。

2009-11-20T03:10:00.003+08:00

回到过去周杰伦

一盏黄黄旧旧的灯
时间在旁闷不吭声
寂寞下手毫无分寸
寂寞下手毫无分寸

不懂得轻重之分
沉默支撑跃过陌生
静静看着凌晨黄昏
你的身影

失去平衡慢慢下沉
黑暗已在空中盘旋
该往哪我看不见
也许爱在梦的另一端

无法存活在真实的空间
想回到过去
试着抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气

想看你的看的世界
想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜
想回到过去

试着让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去
分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧

这样挽留不知还来不来得及
想回到过去
思绪不断阻挡着回忆播放
盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡

灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
一转身孤单已躺在身旁
想回到过去
试着抱你在怀里

羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你的看的世界
想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

想回到过去
试着让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去
分散时间的注意

这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
想回到过去
沉默支撑跃过陌生

分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
想回到过去

想回到过去
沉默支撑跃过陌生
静静看着凌晨黄昏
失去平衡慢慢下沉

你的身影
又回到过去

Past/Future?

2009-11-20T02:40:00.003+08:00

Went around facebook to grab the photos. Only grabbed mine. And I could only say that there is 1 photo that I will wish to see everyday.

虽然借酒消愁很辛苦，但是在那一瞬间却是我们能够不要难过得时候。虽然我不希望看到朋友们做这么傻的事，我偶尔也会想要借酒消愁把时间的存在都忘了一干二净。因为只有在那一时候，我才可以真真正正的忘记你。

I want a time machine. Rewrite back to 32 hours and 21 minutes. When I was still sitting at a same table with you.

From now onwards, I am me. And I do what I want.

2009-11-19T12:02:00.004+08:00

Prom night have come and passed. Really hope that it will go through slower. But, it still too fast. I really don't wish it to end so fast. If that thing have not happen, I will have more time.

But nevermind, what has passed has passed. I think it's time to really let go and rest. Let go of everything. Be back to the old yongquan. But I will miss you. Because you are really the first girl that I have fall so much in love.

Saw what your stead has done for you for your birthday. Now, I understand, I could never get better than any of your stead. Because the reason is I don't know how to create surprise all those. And, because I am me. Really hope that time would stay at that moment forever. I know I'm being selfish. But....

After prom, accompanied you with the groups around. After a while sat on your father car to dobby ghaut. Really appreciated it. Pity I never get the chance to say goodbye in front of you.

Went to coffee shop, ate laksa. Drank beer. 1 of them became drunk and vomit all around. It really heart pain for me when I see him like this. Although we often talk, he was still my friend.

Then, take cab to macrina hotel. Tried to stop those drunkard in the hotel, and I received a few more bite marks and bruise on my hand. Really upset to see everything using beer to numb themselves. Hais.

After that, camped that, tried to stop the drunkard for the whole night. They never stop until 7am.

After that, I don't why ki siao and joke with dean for very long. lols. Laugh until siao.

Went out of hotel and take a cab home at 10+. Reached cj house. camp a while and now back at home.

Ps- Although I say that I will try to forget you, I do not know whether I could really do that. I will still waiting for you until I really forget you. Thanks for giving me such a memorable night. Really like it. But Prom night is too short. I wish that It could be longer. Because this may be the last time I gonna see you in this year. I really cannot bear. But, For your sake, I will still try to forget you. Bye, I will miss you and you will be the best girl that I have love so much. Today, I need to hold back every bits of my tears and fight back and become the old yongquan. But, in my heart, it will only be you, you and you. I am so jealous of him. How I wish I can be like him, getting your love. Hmmm, I think I shall not disturb you any further. Goodbye.

If this is a letter, I think it will be sealed with tears. Because I still can't bear to leave you. You are right. good thing don't last long. But in the world, there are very few people that will appreciate this good things. Especially 4 hours with a girl that I had liked most in my life. Anyway, you are very beautiful on that day, unlike me. Was shocked when I saw you.

If 1 day, you need me, you will know how to find me. Because, I will be waiting and loving you always.

2009-11-15T18:05:00.002+08:00

Had a dream about you again. In it, I was a gangster(real life I'm not). I was fighting another gang for you. Before fighting, I remembered, we had a hug and you told me to be careful as you don't want me to be injure. Then my friend called out to me, as the other gang has arrived. they took parang and we took chairs. We won, and police arrived. everyone separated. I managed to escape.

And after that I went back to find you. Hugged and I cried as I do not want to leave you. Then the door was kicked open and I was pull away by the police.

What a stupid dream. Although I was caught in the dream, I somehow felt happy when I wake up as I know that everything I have done is for you. And at least in the dream, I managed to hug you.

Anyway, I am no gangster.

PS- I don't know what is happening between you and him. I just wish that you will be happy. If you are upset, and needs a talk, just sms me. I'm always here.

2009-11-15T03:16:00.004+08:00

How is everyone living their lives now? should be fine ba?

Should be dyeing the whole head gold on monday. I know what you guys wanted to say. So clinche. Is it?? lols . After that Going other place . Walk. Rather than staying at home nothing to do. I need money now . Must go work after prom le. If not my life will be meaningless and moneyless.

Don't know what to say ler . 有些事放在心里也比较好吧。虽然会很不舒服。嗨

2009-11-12T17:13:00.001+08:00

Exam over. Going to dye hair soon. Then not enough money to do other things ler.. zzz

忘不掉的伤---姜玉阳

滑落在你眼前的流星是我的泪滴
是你要的爱过的证据
选择我以后你是否觉得委屈
是我对你不够好还是原本就是游戏

其实你再爱不爱我都不再最要紧
从今以后不再为谁伤心
酒醉已清醒你已远去
看着爱情的浪漫在流着的水中倒影
以后那么多的悲伤那么多的凄凉
只有我一个人抵挡
再也没有方向也没有幻想
我思守到地老天荒
但愿忘记那忧伤忘记这迷惘
忘记曾许下的愿望
可是谁又了解事过境迁
我忘不掉曾爱的你
永恒的伤

其实你再爱不爱我都不再最要紧
从今以后不再为谁伤心
酒醉已清醒你已远去
看着爱情的浪漫在流着的水中倒影
以后那么多的悲伤那么多的凄凉
只有我一个人抵挡
再也没有方向也没有幻想
我思守到地老天荒
但愿忘记那忧伤忘记这迷惘
忘记曾许下的愿望
可是谁又了解事过境迁
我忘不掉曾爱的你
永恒的伤

Nice song isn't it ?
hear it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGHDGH6qdvE if you want.

2009-11-10T14:53:00.002+08:00

Today I had chinese O level. Was easy for paper 1. But I doubt I will score very well for paper 2. It been 3 days since I do the thing my friend hated. 4 days more to go till the promise is over. This week is only just for testing me.

It been 2 days since my last post. I remember at evening 7 something, you started to text me again. You asked me about prom things. Actually I did not want to reply you. Pardon me. I just don't want to go into the shit again. But, I still decided to reply you back at last. My urge and desire still got the better over me. Hais. It's not any chance. It's just an imaginary image.

After that I told you many things, about my troubles. Thanks for replying me trying to cheer me up. I knew that your smses can brighten up my day, but I just do not want to fall into the shit again. the next day morning, you sms me again to continue cheering me up. You may thought you have succeed, but it was halfway when I told you that I do not want to mention about the biggest factor that make me so upset.

Before I even said about the biggest trouble, you are still very willing in counselling me. You thought that I might have depression. I don't know. You called me to go for a shrink, but I won't. Because I knew it would be useless. After I told you that I do not want to mention about the biggest factor that makes me today, you do not want to reply anymore. You sure know what it is. Don't you. And the real remedy that could stop my pain is just the main female character in the biggest trouble. The girl that I could willingly wait forever. But, I don't know if I could continue waiting. My tired body is crushing. I have no much energy to prevent it. I wish you could be by my side.

Birthday wish are only for children. Know why I said that. Because I wished for you. But It never happened. I wish for your love, your accompany, your hand. I wish for you. But it never happened. The god is also prejudicing against me, they knew I love you. But they do not grant me your love. Not only didn't they grant me your love, they tortured me with every thoughts of you. They knew that it was impossible for you to love me again. But they still wanted this storyline that inflicts so much pain in me. Why am I the only one suffering pain in this story. Am I just a chess to make the storyline continue? Am I?

From young, after many movies and movies, I often wished for myself to be vampire. I thought that it was cool. But after the heartwreaking pain that I suffered in this world, I felt that I rather die then be a vampire now. Dying will reduce the pain then leaving in this world centuries and centuries still remembering the only you.

Yesterday, I again have a dream about you. In the dream we are again so cheerful than even. It was just like the scene when I first met you in secondary three. Everyday I brought laughter into secondary 3b. My happiness is like non-stop and I can seriously say that the first sight of you made me fall in love with you.

But because of some reason, I do not want to ask you, So I decided to forget. But after so long, I did not forget but love you more. When the reason I do not want to ask you was gone, I decided to try out my luck. But till now, I was already rejected 4-5 times. Imagine the pain when I have to ask you to jia you with your stead from last year to now. Why the gods are so cruel to me, from a so happy guy, I must be torture into this state. Hais.

Today, we have some text again. Just stop I shall said. Well I doubt we will be smsing later on. Shit, I think I had dropped into the shit hole again. Or is it that I have never left the hole before.

I am a ugly freak, I am really a ugly freak. A ugly toad yearning for the swam. Hais ... I really love you lots lots. I wish to let go too. But I can't. I can't. My friends can keep encouraging me to give up. But I have tried many times and I knew by heart that It was impossible. I wish for your love. Is there actually god. Why am I in this state now. hais. I really wish I could love you properly.

My friends kept encouragine me to give up you. But now, I cannot differenciate true friends and false friends. My eye is like covered by a blanket of unknown things. I cannot see clearly. I reached out to the friend that I thought I can depend most. But it disappear as soon as I touched him. And I finally realised everything is just an imaginations.

Call me if you need help.

PS- The whoever that is spamming on her blog. Please stop. Whoever you are. Please stop. I don't know why you are doing this. I just hope that if you happened to pass by my blog, saw this message, and stop whatever you are doing now. By hurting her, you are hurting me double the times. Stop! Please!

2009-11-08T02:33:00.003+08:00

Words filled my heart. What are you doing now? Are you happy with your boyfriend now? Do you need any help?

I don't know why, but I just kept thinking of you. You will never know what I did yesterday. What I have done. Some people might think that I'm acting. But I don't care. Why? Because this pain is too overwhelming. I am killing myself by hiding it in my heart. I really miss you. Do someone have an idea why I am so stupid.

I looked at my hand, and thoughts of us holding hands in the past will appear. I cannot stop thinking. No matter how hard I tried. Do anyone have a idea how much pain I have gone through. Have you ever wonder that I am like a crybaby now. Have you wonder of killing me before I really lost control. Have you ever wonder that I might lost control 1 day.

I wept through the silent nights, with thoughts of you accompanying me. The thoughts never disappear. It just went on and on. Kill me before I cannot control myself.

I even kneeled down just to find a remedy to cure this pain. You should know me, I was so 好胜 and all those. And I was always filled with pride about myself, and I really did kneeled down in front of my friends to find a remedy to cure this pain. I really wish that I could kill myself on that day.

I do not want to lose control. I do not want to become a beast. But the pain is now really forcing me into it. The pain is killing me.

Hais, I always thought that I can really do many things. But can I really. 1 little thing such as loving you has already tortured me so much. Do I still have the guts to do that. I am weak and a sucker. And will die sooner or later, maybe dying in dreams ? Hais. I think no one will miss me when I depart this world. Because I am just a nothing.

Ps- I promised a friend that I will not do the thing that he detest for 1 week. And I will do it. For this week, I will just suffer from the thoughts that will be affecting me for long..... I love you.

2009-11-08T02:21:00.002+08:00

爱得好辛苦黑龙
我曾经以为爱上你不会错
你如今变得让我没有把握
曾经的承诺对与错
回过头又算是什么
这失去的爱如何能复活
你过的生活似乎很快乐
我虽然难过爱让我懦弱
付出的太多无法解脱
这心痛你能明白吗
我应该如何才不会是这结果
我爱你爱得好辛苦爱的好孤独爱的没有退路
我好无助我不去痛苦忍不住的哭
这是你给我的礼物
我爱你爱的好辛苦爱的好糊涂
爱的不能醒目
你好残酷我看着来路你并不在乎
也许吧我无所谓一个人去漫步
你过的生活似乎很快乐
我虽然难过爱让我懦弱
付出的太多无法解脱
这心痛你能明白吗
我应该如何才不会是这结果
我爱你爱得好辛苦爱的好孤独爱的没有退路
我好无助我不去痛苦忍不住的哭
这是你给我的礼物
我爱你爱的好辛苦爱的好糊涂
爱的不能醒目
你好残酷我看着来路却并不在乎
也许吧我无所谓
我爱你爱得好辛苦爱的好孤独爱的没有退路
我好无助我不去痛苦忍不住的哭
这是你给我的礼物
我爱你爱的好辛苦爱的好糊涂
爱的不能醒目
你好残酷我看着来路却并不在乎
也许吧我无所谓一个人去漫步

我难过 5566
那一年默默无言只能选择离开
无邪的笑容已经不再精彩
你害怕结局所以拼命伤害
说是我挡住你的美好未来
你坚决不希望我等待
我便默默的让你走开
如今你受了伤回来
叫我如何接受这安排
我难过的是放弃你放弃爱
放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快
我难过的是忘了你忘了爱
尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
也忘了告诉你失去的不能重来

那一年默默无言只能选择离开
无邪的笑容已经不再精彩
你害怕结局所以拼命伤害
说是我挡住你的美好未来
你坚决不希望我等待
我便默默的让你走开
如今你受了伤回来
叫我如何接受这安排
我难过的是放弃你放弃爱
放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快
我难过的是忘了你忘了爱
尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
也忘了告诉你失去的不能重来

我难过的是放弃你放弃爱
放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快
我难过的是忘了你忘了爱
尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
也忘了告诉你失去的不能重来

我难过的是放弃你放弃爱
放弃的梦被打碎忍住悲哀
我以为是成全
你却说你更不愉快
我难过的是忘了你忘了爱
尽全力忘记我们真心相爱
也忘了告诉你失去的不能重来

别说我的眼泪你无所谓东来东往

一个人在这个夜里
孤单得难以入睡
真的想找个人来陪
不愿意一个人喝醉
醉了以后就会流泪
数着你给的伤悲
为什么你总让我憔悴
别说我的眼睛你无所谓
看我流泪你头也不回
哭过了泪干了心变成灰
我想要的美你还不想给
伤了的我的心怎去面对
爱给了你我不后悔
只希望你给我一次机会
让我去追让我去飞
毕竟爱过的心需要安慰
需要你安慰

一个人在这个夜里
孤单得难以入睡
真的想找个人来陪
不愿意一个人喝醉
醉了以后就会流泪
数着你给的伤悲
为什么你总让我憔悴
别说我的眼睛你无所谓
看我流泪你头也不回
哭过了泪干了心变成灰
我想要的美你还不想给
伤了的我的心怎去面对
爱给了你我不后悔
只希望你给我一次机会
让我去追让我去飞
毕竟爱过的心需要安慰
需要你安慰

看我流泪你头也不回
哭过了泪干了心变成灰
我想要的美你还不想给
伤了的我的心怎去面对
爱给了你我不后悔
只希望你给我一次机会
让我去追让我去飞
毕竟爱过的心需要安慰
需要你安慰

2009-11-05T16:42:00.006+08:00

There's nothing much differences this year comparing to last year. I was left alone in this earth again. With no company and friends. I hope that if anyone hated me, they will just say out. But after waiting for so long, I still left with no answer. Just like last year, When everyone has their own type of friends. They will go out and play. I have to be torture by this boredom again. I just hope that if you guys are unhappy with me, Just say a word. I don't want to be hide in the dark again. The feeling suck...

Am I stupid? I always felt that I have been given a hope over and over again. And at last, I found out that it was false hope. And I will be thinging through over and over again. I hope someone could talk to me and help me to stop this pain. But, I think, no one will ever care. No one understand me.

Am I a tool, or is it I did something wrong? I don't know. Since no one wanted to tell me, then so be it. Because I have already have this type of feelings for a long time. But what I feel unhappy is that after all I had done, after all I have tried, I was again given a false hope. Maybe It was destined. Leave as you want as I am mad. Why should you all care if I am dead or alive. Till now, I discovered that I have always stand alone. Because, I felt that no one really treated me as a friend.

Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way
And that fateful day
I found who I was
So fill this hole with my prescriptions
I just keep feeding my addictions

And all the friends that I have gone through
And how much I deserve the pain
It's a shame

(Friends and alibis)

Am I stupid? I knew it that we will be nothing. I knew it that after the O level, I will never have the chance to see you again. Only a few chances. Although I still wish to see you, it is so rare. I knew it that after O level, we will never contact again. And I'm right again. I held my phone, waiting for just a sms that could brighten up my days, but it never came. And after that I realised that all this while I have been waiting in vain, all this while I was wasting my time and life away.

I looked at the clock, wishing the time could stay when I sms you, wishing that we could talk. Wishing that I could listen to your voice every second. Just your voice could have brighten my day. I do not need any sympathy. I don't know what I need. Because what I need is impossible. I miss you deeply...

Everyone is distancing away. Let us say goodbye.

Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm still waiting
Sometimes I'm shaking
that's how you make me
Sometimes I question why I'm still here
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy

Can you help me understand?

And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else
Something to somebody else

You look at me through clouded eyes
I know you see through my lies
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours
Out of sight, out of mind
we've been through this a thousand times
Turn your back and then you make me feel so crazy

Can you help me understand?

(something)

Take everything away from me silent angel
Leave me nothing to remind me of this time now lost

Please try to say more carefully that you no longer need me
This back and forth is killing me
The only eyes you'll look into are those in your reflection
You are the means to my end

This conversation is over, it's over...
Your truth is a deception meant to poison me

I can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me
...This conversation is over...
Your empty words now drift away as fragile whispers
I saw the day when the fire left your eyes, your tongue fell still
Your treason is silence...

(This conversation is over)

Yup, I took all these from songs lyrics. Say me copycat if you want .

2009-11-04T15:37:00.003+08:00

Hi friends. The end of O level is finally approaching. And I know we can do it, we will be the best batch that punggol can ever offer. But, I will not be complacent and slack. Will study for my chinese and science mcq on saturday and sunday. I do not want to slack and cause me to get lousy marks again. Hahas . going sleep soon. I hope everyone can get the results that they desired to. Goodbye.

Ps- I hope mm can tell me who she is. I am very desparate to know now!

Another thing

I have a plan after O. But I don't know is it ok to do it. I will wait for chances to resurface. Hope it will be successful and I will not suffered all this pain in vain. The day I had been waiting for so long.

2009-10-30T18:58:00.003+08:00

Hey friends. I'm having a very bad mood now. And that's the reason I am posting now. This 2 weeks, we are having our O level examination. English, I think I can just secure a passing grade. And E-Math, I thought I can get very well. But in the end, only to discover, I forget to do a 12 mark pentagon question on paper 2. Saw it only when I hand up my paper. Wtf. Then A math was okay, except, I forget to do a 7 mark question again. Sians. Now I doubt if I can still get A1. It Seems like I have kissed my A1 goodbye. Hais, fucking hell so unlucky, wish I have been more careful. Hope still can get A1. Sians. And thanks yeezheng and chenghan for consoling me when I am sad just now. Thanks.

2009-10-30T18:57:00.001+08:00

Escape the Fate Something Lyrics:
So now you're running
it's hard to see clearly
When I make you angry
you're stuck in the past
And now you're screaming
So can you forgive me
I've treated you badly
But I am still here

Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm still waiting
Sometimes I'm shaking
that's how you make me
Sometimes I question why I'm still here
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy

Can you help me understand?

And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else
Something to somebody else

You look at me through clouded eyes
I know you see through my lies
See the sky, see the stars
All of this could be ours
Out of sight, out of mind
we've been through this a thousand times
Turn your back and then you make me feel so crazy

Can you help me understand?

And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else

You know I would wait for ever
Yes I would wait (I would wait)
You know I would wait forever
Yes I would wait

And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant
Something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And I'm the one that should mean something
But still you wish that you meant something to somebody else
Something to somebody else
Something to somebody else

2009-10-24T14:06:00.007+08:00

Hi everyone. Been out these few days. With friends. Yesterday went to changi airport to study. Then I sleep for 20 minutes. so comfortable. Then return to compasspoint at 7. Lols . Played with friends. Then on bus, did nothing. Not in the mood to do. Reached compass. They ate dinner while I never eat because I no money le, and not very good mood. We walked around after that and Yi xiang take bus home, while clarance, Harry and I went to find Dean.

Talked and did some maths. Went home at 11.50 . After that slept immediately after i bath. Too tired.

Okay now to the main topic. Raphael once told me, Don't fall for someone that do one wants to catch you. He's right. But I still cannot do it. But I also wished my friends that are trapped in love to be happy too. At least after O bah. I will try too. Even though it will be very hard . I will try.

2009-10-22T15:45:00.002+08:00

Today, had our science practical. Was confident this time. Hope can get super good results. I will not want an A2 , I must have a A1
After that we were quarantine in multiplex and the teacher were there. We are only released at 1.30. fuck sia so late.

After that, went to rivervale mall. The guys had Long John Silver while I had roti prata. Then went to find them. Walked, and saw those guys that tio us before. After that walked home. Bathed. Now using computer, will go to her birthday later . hahas, Hope will enjoy much .

Okay jiu zhe yan ba. Happy birthday to hao peng you and darryl. and bye ...

2009-10-21T17:38:00.002+08:00

I'm back today again. Today, nothing much. Due to motivation from all of my closest friends, I finally am trying to let go of her. She will be nothing to me anymore, sooner or later, I will have my own girlfriend, after O level. Meanwhile, I think I will focus more on O level first.

Just have a few rounds of game. Did enjoyed. Its still unknown for me if I will go to your birthday party or not. I think I will ba. At least this is the last time I will be celebrating your birthday. At least this may be the last time I will see you. At least this may be the last day I love you. At least I get to get out of my home.

Lols. went to facebook. Grace said me gangster and violent. How could I be? Being a gentle and civilized guy, how could I be a gangster or violent guy.

Prom night is getting closer and closer. O level is just another day from now. I hope everyone put in all their efforts, to fulfil their dreams L1R4 or even L1R5.

After O level, we may not be seeing each other again. But I still hope we can still gathered around and have fun fun fun!!! Especially the clique. My best friends that supported me in my worst times. Lols .No need repeat ler. hahas . I hope we can still contact around after O level. Okay?

Okay, time to go to sleep. must study in the night for practical. Wish all of you good luck, especially you. Don't careless mistake again. Haha . Remember six pointers ar! And happy meal too. I shall go . Goodbye guys . See all of you in the examination room tomorrow. Remember to be confident of yourself. Farewell.

2009-10-20T12:12:00.004+08:00

With the clock struck 12, every feelings about you will slowly fade away. Leaving nothing then just pure friendship. Like what many people say, it is not worth to abandon the whole forest just for 1 tree. It is meaningless to love a girl and lose my friends. I swear you will become nothing in my mind soon. And, the prom night thing is still in your hands. Its your call, go, or send me a sms to say you are not going. I will be waiting. I do not know when you will see this. But I hope it will be soon.

Yesterday, when to seoul garden makan. Then after that walked around. Some guys decided to play pool. So follow them. hahas. I very noob. Lose 4 times to liang ge. hahas. After that, went to compasspoint buy coffee food. Later, went to my grandmother house. Camp there for 1 hour plus and used computer. Left at 10.30 I think. Walk with my brother home, as he wants to deliver my computer back to my home. Thanks. Reached home, use my computer. hahas.

My brother left at 11 plus. Then at that time, I was searching for ULTRAMAN. Lols . I'm so lame. But I have the interest in pokemon and ultraman now. Have so many doubts. Bathed at only 12pm. Then continued use computer ultil 2. Send songs from my another brother phone. Then went to sleep. Wasting the whole day, as I did not study. Hahas.

Today, woke at 11. cooked instant noodle to eat. Then, using my computer again. Going to history at 2pm. Slacking now. May study only after 6pm. now I want to play. Maybe last time playing until after O level. Okay Guys, seeya,. and Jiayou for O level. We will overcome it.

PS- My computer is okay now.

2009-10-20T00:20:00.003+08:00

I'm back! And everytime, when I bloghop, I leave with a heavy heart. Why? I ask myself. It's because I knew that I had failed once again in my life. Once again, I knew that you have a boyfriend. Once again, I am crying. Why? Why am I still grabbing to this thin thread that is impossible to hold on? Why am I still crying? Why I still feel the pain? Why I still reminisce about the past? Most importantly, Why are you still in my mind? Why? Can anyone answer me? Can anyone take a knife and plunge into my heart? Because the pain is too overwhelming for me. Everytime I have a chance to talk to you, I think that everything is possible again. Everytime, I thought we can be together, something happened. You will have your sweetest sweetheart. And I was with nothing again. Actually, I knew these things since a few days before. Someone told me that you are attached. Someone make me feel that I failed once again. Someone make me cry for a whole night. Someone that makes me give up hope again. After that day, I did not SMS you anymore. You know why? It's because, I knew I am disturbing you everytime. I finally slowly grab a hold on myself by not thinking of you for so long. But things again started to change when I saw your blog. I'm sorry. I will cry tonight, just tonight, and everything is over ... Cancel prom night if you want please. Just sms me, I waiting for your answer. sorry.

2009-09-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

Inspirational phrases

Groucho Marx Inspirational Phrase:

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

Bil Keane Inspirational Saying:

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."

Ralph Waldo Emerson Inspirational Phrase:

"Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life. "

Finding Yourself Quote from an Unknown Source:

"Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul."

Robert Brault Poem About Finding Yourself:

"Try to discover
The road to success
And you'll seek but never find,
But blaze your own path
And the road to success
Will trail right behind."

Anonymous True Friend Quote:

"Many people will walk in and out of you life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."

Best Friend Quote from an Unknown Source:

"Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us."

Best Friend Quote from an Unknown Source:

"Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere."

Anonymous Best Friend Quotation:

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. "

True Friend Quote from an Unknown Source:

"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. "

Henry Ford Goal Quote:

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

Michelangelo Goal Quote:

"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it."

Vincent Van Gogh on Goalsetting:

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."

Michael Jordan Inspirational Sports Quote:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've fouler over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

John Wooden Sports Saying:

"Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. "

Muhammad Ali Inspirational Sports Quote:

"Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision. "

Emmitt Smith Inspirational Sports Quote:

"For me, winning isn't something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream."

Vince Lombardi Inspirational Sports Saying:

"Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else. "

Marva Collins Quote on Success:

"Success doesn't come to you... you go to it. "

Dexter Yager Success Quote:

"A winner is one who accepts his failures and mistakes, picks up the pieces, and continues striving to reach his goals."

Vincent J. Lombardi Quote on Success:

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."

Orison Swett Marden Success Saying:

"Success is not measured by what you accomplish but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds."

Thomas A. Edison Success Quote:

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

W. Clement Stone Motivation Quote:

"Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will."

Lao Tzu Motivational Quotation:

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Dale Carnegie Motivational Quote:

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy"

Unknown Author Motivation Quote:

"Every great achievement was once considered impossible."

Kahlil Gibran Love Saying:

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.

Love Saying from an Unknown Author:

Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever.

Love Saying from an Unknown Author:

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

Samuel Johnson Perseverance Quote:

"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."

Jack Dempsey Never Giving Up Quote:

"A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't."

Charles De Gaulle Determination Quotation:

"Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so."

Self-esteem Motto from an Unknown Source:

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

John Atkinson Quote on thinking for yourself:

"If you don't run your own life, somebody else will."

2009-09-17T23:32:00.003+08:00

Hi , everyone . I'm back . I have both good news and bad news. Which do you want to see 1st ? good news right?

The good news is that i past my english overall for the first time this year. I scored 29/60 for paper 1 , 23/50 for paper 2 . I was at the verge of failing english again when Mrs haffidz showed our overall. I got 56/100 because of additional marks from my oral. lols ... hahas . Was a little bit happy, but not completely, because i cannot continue this results. I must improve more .

Half good news and bad news . A math , I got 73/80 for paper 1 and 86/100 for paper 2 , so the overall will be 88....... marks . It an A2 standard for the O level. As we required 95 marks just for an A1. So i wouldn't be so happy if I get this marks .

Bad news . Sciece got 52.5/65 for paper 2 18/20 for paper 1 . I know I can do better de . And the few mistakes I committed is none other than those chapters that I thought is easy. Maybe my complacency in that chapter has set me off somehow . Adding paper 1 and 2 , I have 70.5 marks . I require another 4.5 marks from my practical to get A1 for my chemistry, Which i doubt i could from my incomplete work. Let this be a lesson to me bah. Hahas . It worthless to be sad now. 事情都是我一手造成的。 I will remember this lesson .

I got 45.5/70 for my chinese paper 2 which was a b3. I hope I can do better in future.

Many people including me are emoing, are going into conflicts and fights. I just hope nothing will happen as they are all my friends, my very best friends.

Heard you have a serious argument with someone which I don't know. Hope nothing will happen to you and anything call me. I'm still here for you if you treated me as a friend. You know de .

Let this be a lesson to me ... all this things plus prelims. I will try my best from tomorrow onwards. Hopes all this will not be just talks but guarantee.

Competition and tensions are rising among secondary 4 express. Hope no 1 will feel hurted .

And lastly , a very sweet goodnight to all of you . May all your wish come through.

P.S
If we are not meant to be together from the very begining, then I just hope that you will be safe and happy .

Losing is not an option for me again ....

2009-09-16T15:40:00.002+08:00

I remember the smile of you every time . I was pondering onto my troubles yesterday night. And god worsened my troubles, by sending you into my dreams. When I protected you from an unknown guy. Its impossible. Hais . I'm incapable.

2009-09-16T14:13:00.005+08:00

Hi. Many things happened. I failed my english prelim composition once again.

Yesterday, helped my friend to get out of trouble. In the end, I was scolded by my mother and brother. Can you leave one of your very best friend to die or hit. I can't. I can't. They are so big while my friend are so small. I can't let my friend get beaten under them. But what can I do? My brother say he cared only for me. But I cannot leave my friend to get beaten right. He my best friend. I hate myself for my incapability. If I am stronger. I will help my friends. But how am I going to be stronger. I may look stong in front of my friends. But I am so weak in the eyes of many people outside. I am just a weakling. Nothing more. Been thinking through since yesterday. My best friend has helped me so much. But my family don't allow me to help him when he was in trouble. What can I do? Hais. Its not his fault. Its all my fault. I am just a fucking weakling. I want to train to be a real fighter. But now, I am still incapable of passing english. What can I do? My family don't understand me at all. Next time, if my friend gets into trouble, I don't know how to help him anymore. I am a fucking noob. Hais. If I am strong enough.

Science pratical was thrash. If [you] noticed, I have almost the same thing as you in science practical. My graph was positive gradient and my gradient is also positive. I did not complete my chemistry pratical. And nitrate acid pour on my paper. Fuck. It more difficult to get A1 for now, with my practical so lousy.

I got 43/50 for my history. I can get 46/47/48 like this de, just because I write wrong 1 source plus I can do better for my SEQ . Hais . Hope Social studies this time will not fail me . Hope I can get A1 for my Social studies.

Heard from Mr Ong I got 67/75 for my E-math paper 1. 81/100 for my E-math paper 2. Was pleased with paper 1 result. But for paper 2, I can get 90 something mark de. I got the feel de. And mr ong say I got 1 very big careless in the paper 2. Maybe that the cause that pull me away from getting 90 something. Hais. Fucking carelessness. Screw myself. I want to prove to mr Ong that I am not lousy, I can win all of them. But where the confidence I used to have when I get first in Math in 4B last year. My confidence seems to be gone.

Heard from Mr ong I got 90 something marks for A math. I remember I had a mistake in there. Fuck it. And somemore many people get full mark. I believe I can go on par with them de. But, I am fucking pissed at my incapability in many things.

I ask myself, I ask, Why am I so incapable? Why am I so weak? I was a crybaby in the past. I was bully by many people in primary school and secondary 1. But in Secondary 1, I was also very guailan. Sec 2, everyone detested me more for my defiance.

Till secondary 3, I did many wrong things. The first thing is never really practice on English. There are still many things that I don't felt like mentioning. I believe my best friends know the wrong things I had committed so far In secondary 3.

Its been 1 year since the incident. Till now, I still reminisced the event clearly in my mind. And whenever I remember, My heart start to ache. I am stupid you see, I get jealous easily, whenever ........ Hais . I am a fucking useless piece of thrash.

所谓‘知错能改，善莫大焉。’。但是你可知不知道，‘浪子回头金不换’。一切的改变，已经太迟了。

2009-09-10T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hi, I am back. I here to post about yesterday. Yesterday, after math, my friends and I went to play basketball at 188. We played till 5. After that, Yee Zheng went to my house to wait for me bathe and change, before walking to punggol plaza. I ate roti prata once again, and Kevin went to meet us. We bought bubble tea, and sent Yee zheng home.

Kevin and I went to school for night study. We signed in and proceeded to the class. I did E-maths homework, and as usual, shaun guys ordered Macdonald. After night study, I together with chen jun, clarance, jiunn liang, jermyn walked to punggol plaza for dinner. After that, the guys went off to meet yi xiang 1st while chen jun and I waited for yee zheng for dinner. Michelle came too. After that michelle followed chen jun and I to find clarance group.

We slacked at void deck. About 11 something, we proceeded home. Chen jun and I first sent michelle, clarance, jermyn to bus stop. They broaded their bus. Off we go. Chenjun and i rushed home as I was about to get scolded by my mother. Reached home, my mum scolded me for nothing, not because of being late, but because of don't know what. After that, I bath and went sleep. She quarrelled with me again for nothing. ZZZ.

Nevermind, we have our quarrels almost everyday.

Meanwhile, before I came to post, I went to see the older post from me. I felt very stupid to post all those stupid things from january all the way to now. I believe that everything will be over soon, since it has past 1 year le. Everything will be over soon.

2009-09-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

There was a boy
He was naive
He waited for a friend
But they never came.

Is it his decision
To avoid his friend?
Or is it his friend
Who hated him?

He cried in pain,
uncontrollably pain.
He wishes for the day,
for his friend to understand him.

Was he his fault?
Is he the cause?
What did he do
Which caused this pain?

He was the boy
which suffered immense pain
Which waited desparately for a friend
a friend,
that he could really relied on
and trust.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Firstly: Maybe I did something wrong, that caused all these.
Secondly: Maybe I was too sensative to notice all these imaginary things.
Thirdly:Maybe I brought these all on myself.

I really treated you all as my best friends. However, you all might not have regard me as the same way that I regard you. Maybe all along, I have being imagining that all of you are treating me as best friend. Maybe I have already been accustommed to the feelings of all of you as my closest and best friends. I know I was sensative. I don't know all these things is because they really started to hate me , or is because I was too sensative to imagine all these Fucking imaginary things. Maybe I do not deserve to be their best friend. Nevermind, whatever will be, will be. If all of you are not my best friend in the first place, and that it is me that is thinking too much, then I think that I shouldn't pursue the friendship dreams and commitments. Because it would be meaningless. I hope that it is me who is thinking too much. I hope that I can stop thinking again. These will only brought pain and suffering among us. Maybe I don't deserve to be your friend. Sorry for suffering if you hated me and I kept pursued after you. I will slowly distance myself away from everyone, till the day when I can find out the truth. Is it all my fault? Nevermind if you don't treat me as your best friend. I do. I will wait in the darkness till a day when I find out the truth. Forever unknown best friend .

On the above, is the feelings I get from some of my best friends. In fact, those are the friends that know most of the things about me. I trusted them.

Below, I have going to speak a short short true story about one of my best friend.

He was one of my best friend. We teach each other any things we don't understand. We solve our problems together. However, he had a problem with another friend recently. I do not know how to help. I just wish them to be together again. But..... Maybe he don't trust me. It hurts to see him running off yesterday. I wish everything will be okay again.

The end

Two more last things that I want to tell those best friend that will come to my blog. Remember this. I am always here, if you need any help, find me.
And, I don't wish one more of my another friend to be beaten outside. I wish he can become back to himself. Because he is walking more and more like a gangster. And, he might not have know, I don't wish him to get hitted outside. I wish them to be happy onwards. No troubles. Even though I was really disapproval of your new stead initially. I can only wish you all happiness. I won't get immerse in your matters ler. I will leave.

Anything, Call me if you want. I will be there.

2009-09-04T16:53:00.000+08:00

Whatever will be, will be. The situation is not mine to seize. Whatever ever.
I regret seeing all those, It made my situation better. Nevermind, like what I have said, whatever will be will be. Whatever its not mine, its not mine. Maybe the one you love can do better than me. Or maybe others who like you can do better than me. I in no position to say all these. I can only watch your happiness or sadness which comes and goes. This pain can never be cured so easily. 其实，我敢自问，有谁会比我跟痴情？有谁会比我的心还要疼？当我看到你每次的伤心，我的心就算是痛得似乎伤痕累累。当然，你一定会觉得有人比我还要痛苦。当然，你没错。没有人错。因为我的恒心与痴情不能用尺或者什么工具来量。我说这些并不是要和人争斗或者搞的事情更复杂。我只是想要把所有不开心的是写下来，好让我别再这么无聊的等与想下去。对不起。

history and social studies were super duper easy for me . But history sbq will get penalised at 1 part. Social studies, i am trying , see if my method suited what ms farrah wants . Chemistry, Emath, Amath was easy . Hope can get A1 for all these. I am really confident. Please don't spoilt my super confident power, if not i will slack again.

I want to get out of these schools. But I don't want to forget all my best friends namely:Chen jun, Yixiang and co , Harry, Karwong, Yee zheng, kevin and bestie. But I wish to escape from this emo ground and stop thinking of everything. I want to have a girlfriend after O level. I hope that I can find that girlfriend that love me and I also love her back.

Okay . Shall stop here. A sweet a day, make me stop emo everyday. My specially stress sweet.

2009-08-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

Its being a long time. Its being a long 4 years. We are finally going to reach the destination. Buck up Everyone. Its prelim now. Without another long time, we will be at the examination hall taking our O level. I swear I have been waiting to get over O level for very long. I have contained my hyperactive inside me for long. After O level, It is going to explode. You will see me playing basketball. Playing anything. As long as it is fun.

English prelim was Okay. I was confident for paper 1 but there are some vocabularly mistakes. But paper 2 , I have no confident. Hope I can do it this time. Chinese prelim paper 1 was quite difficult, I think I will get very low grades for it. Social Studies prelim is quite Ok. I think I am going to do it this time. 5 days of rest before another start of prelim. I need to prepare. But today, I think I will be resting and playing. Not gonna study. Prelim is the reflective results of our O level. Hope I can get my desired results , which is quite untruth for now.

Lastly, I want to point out 1 thing that I bloody hate about Mr Ong. Don't you think that it is very sensative to joke around with my future. You say that I cannot make it to O level. You say that I will retain. You are trying to look down on me right. I hate your prejudice against me. I hate it when you everytime use me as bad examples while you use other people for good examples. Tell me, when did you ever truthfully praise me for the things that I did? No matter how well I try, you will just think that it is not enough. Whenever your joke makes me angry, My friends will call me to tolerate you. Why? because they do not want me to get into troubles? or because they respect you? If that is gonna be the respect you gave to me, I think I am very wrong in choosing you to be the dedicated teacher. I think that I should not be respecting you so much. You looked me as the same as my brother. I know my brother and I had caused many troubles in the school. But have you ever wondered why we did that? Have you? I tell you . It is because of the respect you teachers gave to us. You thought that we are always wrong. You looked me upon like my brother. You show me a black face whenever I try to tolerate your nosense. You always try to point me out as the bad example. For instance, if that is something bad happening, you will sure point to me and think that it is me. I hate the attitude you are giving me. I gonna warn you. If I really cannot go across O level, If I really retain, I swear you will get it. I swear I will not forgive you. I swear I'm really going to do something about it. You always say that you have been supporting me. But where the support? I only see the prejudice towards me. I know you dislike me. There are so many good students. You can pick anyone to be your vice-chairman. You do not need to choose me. Seriously. If you think that I am really that bad, you shouldn't have chosen me. What the hell am I going to tolerate you when you are discriminating me. Sometimes I looked you as my motivation pillar to study and turn better, but where the support and motivation I need. I hate you to joke at my O level . Yes I am petty. I am sensative. You know it. And you should know you should never cross the border.

2009-08-23T00:38:00.002+08:00

HI , I am back. Have been very happy and also sad throughout the week. Reasons is because it my birthday. Received a wallet from 12 friends which piled up their money to 60 something dollars to buy it. So elated to hear that. And for that, I sincerely thank them for that. I love the wallet so much. I also received a present from bestie. Love it very much. I have placed it on my table, so I will remember you calling me to mug for exams and not slack. Thanks very much. Furthermore, after so long, finally can talk le we. lols. Thanks for offering the pizza when I was down. Thanks for holding it for so long and it burn your hands for so long when I say I don't want to eat. Thanks for trying to save that piece for me. Thanks for it. Sorry I did not eat it. Sorry I spoilt your effort. I sorry for letting you hold so long and I don't want to eat. And I'm sorry for thinking of too much now. Because I did not appreciate your efforts , I think I am very bad. I'm sorry. But I am not emoing.

I had B3 and MERIT for my chinese O level. Thats so BAD. I want an A1. I still cannot decide if I want to retake. Most probably will ba. My ENG oral is a total crap. Think will not do well for it. Nevermind, I will try my best in my written papers. I can do it de. It no use Emoing now. so better to be happy.

Recently, feel very pity and sad for friend. And feel Angry and dissappointed in someone , who go to this extent in doing something he/she wants. Really don't know he/she is really sure he/she has done a good thing. Does he/she really want to continue what she is doing? Not a bad remark here. Just saying out my feelings. Hope I can change my view soon. I don't want anymore friendship to break.

Anyway, Quarrelled with Cj on the pizza thing. Its ok now. It very lame. But Its ok now .

Heard that someone wanted to beat my another friend. I dared him to do it. If he dared touch him , I sure give him die. And quarrel with one of my best friend somemore. If you dare to lay even a finger on him too, be careful hor. I sure hit until you bark like a dog. Even when you said that you are very talented in fighting, which we doubt about.( clue for some of my friends. The story is on 'three little pigs')

And here is another thing for hiadi Harry. Don't Emo. Everything is destined. Don't think so negatively. Maybe you will be happy after O level. Maybe your dream might come true.

I find that going out with my usual group of friends is very fun. We can do what we want, talk what we want, and play what we want.

But mentioning about others friends. Talking about xin shi is also very fun. Hope we can be friends forever.

And one more thing. For Yi xiang . Singapore people cannot praise de. When you said you are not sticky, you immediately faced the glue. hahas . just a joke . hahas .

Okay I have crapped a lot. Time to go. BYE. Have a good night.

2009-08-15T14:15:00.000+08:00

爱转角

我伪装着不露痕迹的想在你身边
静静的陪着看着天边骑着单车往前行进着
某个路口爱在等着你往前走不回头看了
记忆的笑脸缓缓的敲着我的琴键我不舍得
让你孤单单的我爱你的心牵挂着
心不再拼命躲不去害怕结果假设有个以后
你会怎么说一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱有美丽笑容
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远你就是我就是我的美

心不再拼命躲不去害怕结果假设有个以后
你会怎么说一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱有美丽笑容
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远你就是我就是我的美

爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远你就是我就是我的美

Recently, I have been avoiding her again. I'm sorry. I found out that whenever I am near you, I will recollect the past unknowningly. Give me some time. I promise we will be true best friend when I truly forget about you. I'm sorry. Whenever I think about it, I will be filled with unhappiness. I have try to conquer these unhappiness for nearly 1 year le. I don't know why, why It is so hard to forget you. Many of my friends will think that I'm useless because I cause myself so much hurt for waiting for you and also because I cannot forget you. I sorry for always avoiding you. It is not meant to be. Sometimes I will still steal a glimpse at you. I admit. Especially today, after Social Studies, when you are at the bus stop. You are standing alone without your friends. I was thinking all the way. However, I still do not have the courage to walk over. And run to the bus immediately when the bus arrived. This is the only way I could get myself away from all those sadness. HAIZ. DUIBUQI.

Those above is just something I need to apologise to someone.

These week, I suddenly found back a little of my interest in maths and A.math after teacher bought us the PASS WITH DISTINCTION BOOK. I wish this interest will bring me all the way across O level, if not I will be slacking all over again. And, I wish to get back my interest in Science again. For a few times, I felt so happy when I got first in math and science. But after the "dark clouds" have covered my bright sky, I started to slack. For the remaining days till after O level, I must prove that I can be the best. I must beat anyone that have higher results than me in the past. For once please , work hard for O level. Let your name be remembered by every punggolites for once. Try to be the favourite in polytechnic. Try to get 6 points . A1 for all subjects. I must not fail. I must not. I must conquer English. I have no fear of English. Because I will be taking English oral on my big day. My wish is To get the best result Punggol ever had In O level.

My Chemistry and physic skills is getting lousier. I sure need to buck up on it. But the first thing I should be concentrating now should be English.

I have only think of Finishing O level. After O level, I am going to work, train basketball, and train muscles. I want to be stronger. I don't want to lose to anyone again.

Furthermore, I want to prove to all those that had been looking down on me from the starting of even secondary 1 till now. I want to prove that I can win them. Come on, continue to belittle me. Tell you, you may win me in the past, But I will strive to win you in future. No matter of any subjects. Especially English. I will win you. I will win you. I will win you. I will win you. I will win you. NO matter how hard it is going to take. I am going to win all of you, including myself. I will prove to myself too that I am not a failure, not a useless faggot. I will try to change. But I need time. Change change change. I love English. I love chinese. I love Social studies. I love History. I love A-Math. I love E-Math. I love Chemisty. I love Physic. In my heart, That will not be 'you'anymore. Because it is filled by all these subjects.

2009-08-10T02:55:00.000+08:00

hi ! Just did my english . Boring , so came to blog. It seems a long time,When I started to think so much. I started to think back to the past when I have brought so much chaos into the class. All those jokes and funs that caused misery in our class today. All those attitudes I have towards teachers. Maybe something is going to happen to me next week. Maybe I have created another problem for the class. I am so foolish. I thought being the vice-chairman, i am already very good. But in the midst of it, I have caused so many troubles. I have set a very bad examples for my peers.

If I have a chance, I will not do it again. I am hot-tempered and too sensative. I fooled around without caring of others' feelings. I know I hurted many people . But why do I always repeat the same mistakes?

I will still try again.

I am a love failure, a failure in vice chairman position. Failing in many different things.

2009-08-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

HI , I'm here. Thought through the things I did yesterday . Maybe I was wrong too . I am too rash and sensative to judge . Sorry is the word that I am going to use . I am sincere about it . My anger got over me yesterday . Maybe I will lose my sense of wrong and right when it comes to the word love . Well , the thing has happened . I cannot do anything to change it . So , I can only say sorry . bye

2009-08-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

Hi , I am back . Recently , Me and some of my Best friends , always hanged out till near midnight or midnight , Just to talk , Gossip and BOYS-BOYS talk . Of course got play basketball . Anyway , recently , I have a feeling that someone is backstabbing me to another one(that is very important to me in the past) . I hope that it is not you , the one that I am talking about in many post. If not , You will know it . If it is really you , I hope you backstab more or me to her . Make me more angry of you . You will see how I treat you . I don't mind losing a friend such as you . One day , when I cannot endure any of your rubbish , you better be careful . Although to be frank , I still love her a bit , If you are really trying to make use of that weakness to subdue me . I still encourage you . You have my secrets , I have your secret . Better don't let me know that it is you , If not your secrets may spill off to any unknown person . Got my warning ? Seriously , I agree with Harry , I don't think that you will ever change . Will you ? Prove it to me . Say Say only ah . Are you really serious about that "sorry" , Or are you just trying to say sorry because 2 of us are pin-pointing you and you are sure to lose . I don't care what anybody thinks of me when I wrote this post . If you want to go to the extreme , I can accompany you .

If the culprit is not you , I am not going to say sorry . Because , I know I am not gonna be serious in my apologise .

All those talks about my house been a dog nest , Do you think I don't know. When I heard of it , I have already felt of screwing you up . The chance is finally here . Who owns who a apology . You called my house a dog nest . Will you deny it . You wanna me go find out all the evidence and tell you in front of the whole class. Tell you , I am capable of doing that alright .

Mr ong called me to have peace with you . Well , I think this is the only way to have peace with you , If you want to play this game with me . Huh? If I am in the wrong , Then let the lightning strike me . To be honest , It is very difficult for us to be together again , until you show us the real change in you . Have a good read at my post ...... Happy? Its all about YOU!